I will never know // cause you will never show

Well I guess it is 2002 now because I have been listening to The Cardigans all day. What a great melancholy pop instrumental rock band! It's different, like I haven't been going back to bands from those days as often. I think my mind sees it as once I have all these memories attached (Cardigans and the end of 2001 and beginning of 2002, my 'golden age' or something) I feel like I can only listen to the band if it is a really special moment AND if I feel like listening to them. That's so much garbage I know, same thing with The Beatles and Amélie sometimes, it's like they are TOO good or something, so I have to be proposing to a woman before I can put in Sgt. Pepper apparently. I need to get over it. So I stroll into Best Buy to pick up the new Interpol album (which btw kicks me in the face it's sooo good!) and happenstance led me to see what new films/movies were out there, and behold 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind', my 2nd fav. film all year next to Garden State. "You'll be eating ramen noodles for the next 7 days now" says my wallet after that, but had to get it. Even if I only watch a film a few times here and there (AKA would've been cheaper to rent it x number of times) it's like donating to that wonderful thing by buying it I decided, like showing whoever cares that this is a glorious thing and make another! But my $ probably just goes to 'You Got Served' or something. Bah. I made this with my scanner last night after not studying (click here) scroll all the way down. I am bored too easily. This is what I'm thinking.

(Start all over again!)

I think I cured my back! I hurt my back like 3 weeks ago, that lower part where doing everything hurts pretty much, but I've been trying to train myself to sleep on my back in hopes that it might help it recover, but it was hard to do since when I lie on my stomach it is easier to keep barely awake to where I do most of my productive thinking of the day. Well then again, the times that I coaxed myself to sleep the other way around, I have had funnier dreams which makes up for most of it a little I guess. Like the one where I ate Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal for the entire dream and then I woke up and searched around the kitchen for 30 min trying to find the box "swearing that I ate it yesterday or somethin". I think maybe I dream more imaginatively when I am awake :-). Sleeping on the back is good also I decided because one day if I have a lady, then you can do that awesome sleeping position where I would be on my back and she would be kinda across the chest with her head under my chin slightly (Well that's going into the 'Interests' section now anyway :-) I'm nuts. I also decided right as I was going to fall asleep basically that I wanted to find a site that might have a record needle cartridge for the record player under my bed (of course!) since I broke that one trying to take it out and put it into my current player after Tommy Issac went 'Rappers' Delight' on it and busted the needle. I think I got the place so maybe I can ship that player out of here to clear space/make somebody a record nut like myself. Inquire within :-). Again the blonde teller at the bank would not give me the time of day! She had a snappy (as usual) black turtleneck sweater and khaki pants and she twisted her wedding ring around slightly to let the sun flicker off of it as she talked the whole time on the telephone. Hehe typical. Hey do you have to work today? Well I do :-/

Ice-age, heat wave can't complain

Well right now it is 8:20 in the A.M and for anybody that really knows me might figure that something is not right if Justin Bentley is awake...!. Well we had a meeting at the Walnuts 7:00 AM sharp, talking about all sorts of relevant issues to my kind self, such as skirt sizes, the proper way to process 1-hour photo orders...at least I got to blast Modest Mouse on the way there and back (get this song called 'Dark Center of the Universe' right this second, that's a chorus you can scream at 8:00 AM!) This is the 1.5 hrs before I have to put in my 10-6 and I'm pretty burned out, so go easy with the red pen on my grammar, etc. I went to the record shoppe in Dixieland Flea Market and bought some records it was greatness, spent WAY too much, at least on one record, def. fantasy/impulse buy but ah well I get by :-). Talked to Andrea before she leaves Oregon to come back here for good tomorrow. There is this weird chem. between us now that I've never felt before as long as I've known her and she's cleaned up her act a lot (as much as I would ever ask her to anyhow :-) ). I'm very proud that she has landed on her feet. Went to a bonfire last night, and the thing that I could not escape how the only other 5 guys that were there all had girlfriends while the 6 guy crew we rolled in with (yes we somehow crammed 6 sardines into my tin can car) do not. I could not, the whole time, make out what that means really, maybe it's just 6 separate circumstances or maybe just "how our crew rolls" (?) I'll think about it some more as my head hits that pillow over there for the next hour. Some pleasant dreams.

Long ago, life was clean/Sex was bad, called obscene

Wow is The Fiery Furnaces' video 'Tropical Ice-Land' great! I love the white lines around them both and my fav. part is defiantly the twinkling piano/drumbeat as she jumps in the water (I'd never say all that and then deprive you of it of course! ;-) check it out right here) I like it an awful lot. I can't tell who I adore more right now between them and The Kinks ('Victoria' hehhhehe he sings like such a smart Alec)! I think it's easier for The Fiery Furnaces since one of my best friends hasn't "borrowed" their album for running on 3 weeks (ahem :-)) I'm glad to have them since I was sad about my Trig. test preformance, that will def. be the 1 test I drop this sem, but good things did come from that class... In the 'point and laugh' segment of the entry I couldn't go to sleep last night because of all movies 'Josie + The Pussycats' was on, I was just drawn to it...kinda like that car commercial about that girl and her dog and it's playing that song that Mariah Carey covered ('Sweet Fantasy' or whatever the devil) and you just get pulled into it. Good thing I can't afford a car. Apparently I thought today that I could afford a checking account however, I want to get funny checks (obviously the POINT of getting a checking account ;-) ha) what do you think? Like dinosaurs dancing with ballerina dresses or something silly that probably doesn't even exist. Like 'Blades of Steel' checks.

No one left to watch your back now/No one standing at your door

Today my face has started to peel pretty bad after my "macho-man-no-sunscreen" Sat. afternoon so I closely resemble a zombie basically. My brother got laid off from his job yesterday, that was pretty bad news. He walked into the Al Serra HQ office and asked them bluntly if they were going to let him stay with autobody, what he'd been trained to do for 2 years, or if they planned to move him all around like they had been hinting at, and they said that he would not be able to continue there with what he was doing so they laid him off and made him sign something which turned out to be (unbeknownst to him) a voluntary release form, so he can't get unemployment it looks like. This of course follows my Dad being forced out in similar fashion, someone being hired in and being given almost all the jobs instead of my Dad + others that have been there for 5,10,15 years. I am not angry because my Dad landed on his feet at a new place now, but it is scary. I got an e-mail back from The Casual Dots (one of my Mega-bands of the Summer) & it goes :

Subject: Wonderful
Date: Wed, 28 Jul 2004

You guys' record has been my summer, I can't wait to see you guys live >someday and proudly wear a shirt from you. Thank you so much

~Justin, MI


RE: Wonderful
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004

thanks Justin! glad you like it. we're working on a new album, which
should be out next year on KRS. hopefully we'll make it to a town near
year
on tour.
take care,
Kathi // Casual Dots

That cheered me up very much. I was supposed to go to The Fiery Furnaces tonight but I just didn't feel up to it. I studied mostly for my Trig. tomorrow and shot the ball around into the darkness up at the school. Hopefully everything goes well at school tomorrow, for the classes and for the other thing...

Hail Hail Michigan !

Isaacs and I got tix for the U-M v. San Diego State football game, row 7 right behind the goalposts courtesy of Michelle from Rx. We had a good time, we single-handedly (ha) made their kicker 0/2 on FG's in the 4th quarter to preserve the win and I got sunburned like an idiot ah well. After the obscenely long car ride home I got home to discover that my Grandma dropped $80 on the dresser for the difference between my vest and my sis' dress that she had for our cousin's wedding, so hello Fiery Furnaces' Blueberry Boat today. I bought it at Best Buy, which is my fav. place to get cds for of course the reason that you get to stick the top sticker, the one on the top of the cd that says the artist and album, on to the top of the outside garbage can so everyone can see what you bought/vice versa. Today somebody bought an indistinguishable soundtrack album and also two Def Leppard albums. The whole album sounds like The Wizard of Oz to me, listen to this track called 'Quay Cur', it's their first track on the album and it is 10+ min long! Her voice is wonderful like Glinda. I get to see them Tuesday. That's all I got.

Welcome....to Jurassic Party

So last night we (Isaacs, Higgins, Rajala, Dustin and I) went to Tom's ex-'s sister's 21 B-day party with his ex- and some of the other ladies (wee....). So it was to be another 'us sit around being uncomfortable together while the girls dance in the uber-hip bar scene' night on the town. Only last night Raj and I decided that we would put our trad. Dork Squad twist on the event to sort of get some of our own back. That idea of course was to adopt the dress of Jurassic Park characters; Isaacs as Dr. Alan Grant, Higgins as "Rabbit Maldoon", Rajala as Dr. Ian Malcolm, The Dustin as Dennis Nedry and myself as park curator John Hammond.

It was one of the most ridiculous thing we've ever done together.

It was great!

We were ostracized, starred at by women and their angry beaus. Oh wow was it funnnny. We got many pics I'll put them in here soon, but it was def. a breath of fresh air. I wish the rest of the night had went as well. Everybody had a little too much to drink and a lot of emotions that were suppressed by some boiled over, it got pretty ugly, tears and loudness, but on the near silent drive home things were resolved somewhat, so hopefully this 'Jurassic Party' will be something that helps all this conflict finally get straightened out.

I long for the days/music and mayhem/mama's a smilin' friend/in the scuzzy hue of the sunlight/Manhattan Avenue

So in order to get the $1000 schollarship to pay for my college tuition that my Dad got me from his work that he may be forced to quit from, I had to sched. an extra 2 credits, which of course I found out about exactly 1 day after last call for classes! Before my Ma could go straight to the Dean (can I make something like that up? :-) ) we found that I could still get my P.E. classes on later this sem., so there will be a new Bowling and Co-Ed Volleyball student in a few weeks. That was a few days ago. Today I worked with Mr. Bake at his house (I do lawnwork on Sat. for extra under the table dollars), he cut out early for a meeting/party at the school he teaches at, leaving me to clean up etc. So for like 2 hrs I picked up grapevines/cut things down from the fences, it was great. I imagined for the whole time that I was married to Nellie McKay and that I would be working in my yard and she would bring lemonade out for both of us and we would talk about great things and then I would go in and play piano and she would sing 'Manhattan Avenue'. Well I'll probably delete that part the next time I come back.

"I'm takin' on Asia!"

I am now sure that my body can do many things, but taking naps is not one of them. I put the Radiohead concert that Nick & I went to last summer (the bootleg) on through my stereo lightly as I was suppoused to slip into sleep, which of course didn't happen last night and my hrs. of sleep faded from 7 to 5.5, so of course after the 9-11:30 AM speech class with Prof. Jerry Garcia I go for a nap and I wake up feeling like a trainwreck. Bla. I got 4 cd's with my paycheck yesterday, Modest Mouse 'The Moon & Antarctica' The Velvet Underground 'Loaded', The Flaming Lips 'Clouds Taste Metallic' and Björk's 'Post'. I've only gotten to listen to M.M. and the first track '3rd Planet' is glorious! I'm getting mad at myself for this reason, I've been buying a lot of music and putting off listening to it for a long time, like my Franz Ferdinand album that I've barely touched, it's like going out and buying pairs of shoes and wearing them once or something. I played ball today at the courts behind Lake Vine Fine Wine with 7 Asian kids, I poured in 7, all but one of those were layups because I had 6 inches on about everyone, it was a lot of fun and one of the guys did a nice cross-over and hit the shot and said "I'm takin' on Asia!". The girl that sold me those cds BTW said "All four of those are just great!" and I said "Thank you" and then I went to the next door Subway and she came in right behind me so I sat down with my sub and cleared off the other side totally so she could sit there like "Is this seat taken?" style, but she didn't and left. Mheh.

I Do

So the wedding of my cousin Doshi (Courtney) and John went though with only a few hitches yesterday. Being an usher is such a hastle ahhh! I handled it with somewhat grace but I so much wanted to just chill it and take it all in rather than having to walk here and do this and seat them etc. Ah well, it was really nice but a few times it made me a bit sad, like the times where it seemed like it was way too close to falling apart because of delays and my rambuncious little cousin and many other trad. family ordeals but in the end what mattered most was that two people who love each other exchanged their eternal vows to one another and that was beautiful. I hope I will be as lucky one day to find the person for me. We went to Silver Lake for the reception and that was a blast from the past, from working there 5 years ago and doing the insane/wonderful receptions every Sat. night for like 2 years to sitting in on one was nice. Saw 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' with Baun and also Nick Higgins, Dan Land and his g/f Lindsay and his sister, what a great film that is, I sometimes forget that. Today hmmm worked the 10-6 and then got the Texas Hold 'Em poker on till about 30 min ago, I came out + $52 which is remarkable, think that I will buy a few discs tomorrow if I wake up. The Kinks 'Victoria' now that's a great summer song.

I Will.

Waking up a single minute before having to leave to be exactly on time for work in the morning... hmm yea (only 6 min late somehow, a miracle) After the 8-3:30 grind tried to take a nap but I've been having a hard time sleeping lately, I'm going to blame my matress I think. My cousin had her wedding rehersal today at the church, getting married tomorrow and it's frightening. I'm behind her 100% for whatever so as long as I don't mess it all up and forget to do something important as an usher. We met at Olive Garden afterwards and true to the fabric of our fam. did not have reservations for 7:00 PM for 19 people. I got to see Jessica though! I forget how much I miss seeing her and hearing from her and then she was there... I was happy about that. Then I went to 'Art, Beats and Eats' in Pontiac and watched everyone get hammered then we went to Shark's Club with the same gang and pretty much did the same. Clubs make me uncomfortable, I don't like what they do to people.

'It's a beautiful day'

So I'm back anyway. First class this morning, the prof is pretty much the biggest hippie I've ever seen. We get Oct. 14 off because he is going on a spiritual healing trip to Holland, I couldn't make that kind of stuff up. I finally found my milkcrates like the ones the girl has in her room in 'Garden State' to hold her records. They were at Meijers and the guy, as much as I tried, would simply not let me ring up the 5th one at the scan-it-yourself booth so I guess I get a free one instead of 5 free which would've been the case had I gone with 'borrowing' them from outside of Walgreeners. I also got to eat my first candy pumpkin, what a treat indeed! I stopped at a garage sale on the way back, I always feel bad when I get there and I quickly get the feeling that I'm not going to buy anything and then the lady always looks sad at you when you don't. I should've just bought something to be polite I think. After 2 weeks I finally took back 'Late Marriage', I watched it last night. It was really good because at the end you are suppoused to hate it. At least that's what I think.