Will you run away // if I try to be true?

I wore blue jeans today. If you know me that could only mean one thing, for the last time I wore them the same act was being performed. Family portraits at the nature center. Trying to smile. I am so very poor at this, it isn't that I don't like my family (well that's 4/5ths true anyway), I just don't like the feeling of manufacturing an emotion or a moment. For me I need it to be real. I crave the purity of an engagement or a snapshot of time.

Is that the problem I am having with her? That I am too often catching myself memorizing certain lines and plotting spectacular events of snowflakes falling and first kisses?

Another photograph is snapped. I thought of what our pictures together would feel like.