When morning comes to Morgantown // The merchants roll their awnings down // The milktrucks make their morning rounds // In morning, Morgantown

Really it's only been a few months since I fell in love with my name. Every other week I make my way over to the Standard Federal to cash the paycheck and decide how I'm not going to spend it and part of that is to fill out the Savings/Certificate Deposit slip. Well only within the last few weeks have I really been getting my signature on lockdown. Here is an aborted attempt to put money into the account that can serve as an example:

I would break it down like this: I've always had the problem of crumpling the 'J' to start off the whole jamboree. I see now how important it is to start the name (first and last) with a rousing, sweeping display. Have the first thing the person thinks when they see that 'J' be "who is this asshole?" Once I got that 'J' and the 'B' (still I think that could use a bit more work, almost to the point of having it resemble something to the scale of the orig. John Hancock on the Declaration of Independence) into form, I had to work on the meat of the proverbial sandwich. The 'u' and 's' that you always forget about but you can always set your watch to, and then the newest trick, the 'dot over the 'i' coming over the slash for the 't', before the 'n' closes the deal. With hard work and dedication I think the last name can live up to this high standard (wow, could this be the reason why relationships pass me by, a hidden psychological barrier surrounding a deficiency in making my last name as flamboyant as my first, thus a fear in passing it (last name) on to another? I'll think about this in the bathe) But where everything hinges upon that 'B', still in development stages despite it being my last name for 22 years, it should revolve around the 'e' hugging gently against it's breast, 'n' hiding under the shade of a 't' that tucks its cross through the hoop of the 'l' and getting a running start with the hoop of the 'e', going full speed into the ridiculous, outlandish, madcap 'y'. What's in a name indeed.

Besides making it look like I sit around and write my name on any and every surface my eye catches all day (and, hypothetically, would that be such a crime of narcissism??!? I mean it's not like I do or anything but I'm just saying you know, not at all......not at all......) I finished 'The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe' and I don't think I can wrangle enough positive adjectives to praise it's imagination and wonders. It is definitely a book (and hopefully the remaining 6 in the series follow in this/connect the dots as well) that can be the first book you read to your child at bedtime. It has perfect length chapters for a 20 min read each, it is just wonderful 'children/adult/any person with a pulse' fantasy with amazing character/characters and it's even hard when you are not reading to children to not suddenly start reading it aloud and make the voices of the lion and the Scottish (by my design) Giant and the other animals of the Land of Narnia.

I've thought some more about children and the future etc (maybe I should preface this with the thought that it probably isn't as good a thing to be thinking of this as much as I do because of the fact that I am 22 and have no better 1/2 to speak of) and I'm coming to an understanding with myself that I may not have children of my own. I mean I would like them, very much so, but I'm trying to scrape it off of the 'in stone' list that I didn't think I had. I don't think it's a good thing to go in blazing about "I want someone to have kids with and if you don't want kids then you are not the person for me" because it isn't fair. It's not a decision for one person to make and besides it goes against what I've always believed about thinking how foolish it is to have barriers, in regards to relationships, that don't have anything to do with the person them self (ie. distance, their family, their job etc). It always bothered me when I heard about how Audrey Hepburn didn't get together with someone she loved because the man had a vasectomy, because there are many children out there without parents that you could reach out to and/or adopt (for this I can't totally fault her, she basically put UNICEF on the map, so we can let that slide, but the analogy remains), but there is only one person out there that is the other half of your heart (don't think I let the thought of that sounding like a comparison to those 'best friends' separate heart necklaces escape me, it's just that I think it's truth). Thanks to my good friend Charisse, I've entered into the Big Brothers/Big Sisters mentoring program, and after an orientation, I hope to make a difference in a child's life like so many people made have made one in my young life.