Spring Break: Episode I

Yea I think it would be the best thing to break this down into like 2 entries, not just for all the activities and experiences, but also for the fact that I'm feeling about 5 days worth of hangovers on 5 hours of sleep. The 'Dork Squad' Ft. Lauderdale adventure, starring: Isaacs, Higgins, Rajala and myself. Featuring drinking. Heavy drinking. I called it my "therapy" for love lost/never had, sort of like dropping an a-bomb onto my heart, releasing me back into the wild. We had to get there first. We meet at the Raj manor late Tue. night, mowed through 'Tombstone' and left at something like 3:30 AM to get down to Detroit Metro. You know that feeling you get when you're driving along and you see a cop and it's at that point where it's too late to hit the brakes so you just have to 'coast and hope'? Well getting off to the right start I get a ticket for apparently going 53 in a 35, which he is so kind to drop down to 40, I don't know if it might be because i was going no faster than 45 but that's between the State of Michigan and I now. Ah well, we laugh as we make out way to the D, plenty of time and all, get on board and sail down to "Fatlanta" and almost find a way to miss the flight to Florida because of a Budweiser b-fast for the fellas, but we make it to sunny, warm Ft. Lauderdale. Or so you would think, it's pouring rain, you can see your breath, we wondered if we'd returned to the great lakes state. We hear it's only to last the night so we shrug it off as Michelle (Kettering friend) gives us a lift to our Sea Club Resort and true to the spirit of the day to that moment, we find that Travelocity has bofucked us on our room, saying that we'd only registered 2 adults for the 2 beds there, which we come to find throughout our trip, has happened to almost everybody that got their Spring Break 2k5 on at this fine 1 star establishment. Well we made our way out into the cold (?!) night to get "the drink", I got to stamp around in puddles that were simply huge, and made it back and got to drinking. The official Justin drink for everyone reading who have almost certainly drank more than I was 'Bacardi O' + orange pop until about day 3, we get a few down and things are beginning to recover you can feel, so we set out back into the night and the 'Tropic Cay' sticks out to us, and somehow the drinks are free and the lights blur and the sounds swirl, and after saying a prayer to the porcelain God and watching/feeling everyone's libido's flaming in the night, it was like this sexual outburst or something I felt, like some demon that had been hidden for 22 years someplace, I remember just walking out to their pool, changing into my belated b-day suit and splashing into the cold water. It was nuts, Isaacs picked up a few girls there, including a 43 year old cop (??) and brought them back to our place, they mostly did about as much flirting as can be done without clothing hitting the floor, I giggled under my blankets and they looked at me funny. A wonderful turnaround from where the day had been going. That was Wednesday. You couldn't ask for better weather on our Thursday, we got a bite at this restaurant called Lulu's, I got to feed a bird on the table and we met Cheryl, our official waitress as we were to see later. We got to meet the beach also, it was scaaaaarry. I kept thinking about how it was like walking around in Cosmo magazine or something, just like plastic, you could just feel sex all around. I started a book Melissa was kind to let me borrow, worked on my sunburn, collected seashells and smiled. At night we took our shots at the hotel and then set out for this country bar/club that Michelle works at. She got us free drinks which I later discovered was amazing, and as we waited for the couples to finish square dance lessons, I saw this lady sitting with a friend 20 or so yards away. After I glanced childishly for like 14 years, they saw us sitting and came over near us. I thought one of the ladies was pretty and I thought about how nice it would be to dance with her once. So I tried to talk to her, but I was horrible and got it all wrong, and when one of my friend's yelled about what I was doing, her friend said "Oh, this guy is just over here spinning game with my friend, that's all" and that really made me feel a sharp sadness and I couldn't think of words and pretty soon the rest of the guys came to basically bail me out and Isaacs started hitting it off with that girl which was making me really really depressed so I didn't say really anything, and after a handful of shots we moved to the pool table where Isaacs and the girl started basically having sex. I went into the bathroom and cried. It wasn't that Isaacs had "stolen my girl" (whom I guess Isaacs later found out was engaged) or anything like that at all, it was like it put me at the edge of the old cliff, the place where I don't know what to say to her somebody else takes her or when I meet and know a wonderful woman for a long time and then I slowly convince myself that the best thing is that she should not be with me and to find somebody else that is like 10 x better. Naïve desire for an innocent dance with a girl that 1 hour later was all over Tom, it was like this feeling that every girl (and guy really) will get drunk and fuck if they hear the right things no matter what and that I am crazy about how I feel about beauty and love and then I basically watched a guy cheating on his girlfriend and then I sat alone at the table watching everyone slow dance. It's like lately I've been thinking about how some people rationalize things, trump up a bogus self-satisfying reason for immoral behavior, like how Fundamentalists use religion to rationalize killing American citizens, or how in the book I'm reading the main character rationalizes having an affair with reasons like her husband wasn't exciting, too wrapped up in work, not good with sex etc (interesting as to why then this marriage went through, perhaps due to the childbirth, or maybe persistence on his part, or fortune...) or how it seemed to be the motto down there that "Girls only come down here for Spring Break for one reason!..."/it is fine and normal to think of sex with every woman you see all the time, everybody does it and they even say so in psychology etc etc etc. What do you think? Then there was a lady that was so drunk that she was trying to get me to (freak) dance with her, and with everyone pushing me and me trying any way possible to be away from the spotlight I basically curled up in a ball on the floor. It was really dark and frightening. Rajala was there for me though, he kept me on a good drinking regiment and talked to me straight about how he believes in love and how he'd had sex and regretted "throwing it away" ever since and it restored hope. That was a really tough fucking day though. But things got better, as for me I think I'm going to put this Monday to bed, stay tuned.